Some more thoughts

It is now 1 am....
THe background is playing Jeff Chang music...the kind of love songs that accompany me when I grow up from secondary to JC...
Many fond memories then.. life as a student seems so bliss now when you look back..
You do not think much..focusing your energy on studies.....
You do not worry much,,you live each day wth some much gusto that you wonder why the Gods would be jealous of you.
You make friends with kind intentions..simply because you want to be in their company...
How have life changed in a mere ten years....
Life becomes a little more sucky, a little more dull, a little more political, a little less loved, a little sadness, and many many little negatives...
Why?
Why has life changed so much in such a short time?
I am still me...but am I me?
I would be absolutely disgusted with myself if I see myself now ten years ago..
I would probably not want to grow old then..
I would probably choose a different life...
I would even probably end my little life then......
I guess there is always a thousand of " what if "..........
However life still goes on..no matter whether you like it or not.....
Even contemplating sucidal thoughts..........but prehaps just chicken out...........
So no matter how dreadful, you just have to drag yourself.......... and hope maybe, just maybe...
one day.........you would go back in time.... to find back that old lovely self again.....

The end.